Have fun storming the Oscars!

28 Feb

Can you believe it’s already Oscar time???

Always a pleasure to watch Billy Crystal.  That man summed up the entire situation within the first two minutes:

“Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic troubles like millionaires giving each other gold statues.”

I loved the theme and tone of this year’s show, too.  Listening to the winning artists’ speeches about how movies changed their lives made me love them even more.  They chose this profession because of what it means to them, and they chose this moment to share what it meant, resonating with all movie geeks worldwide.  Movies are bigger than Oscar.  And it is precious to me to be reminded of that.

I loved the behind the scenes look just minutes before it started.  I loved that Reese Witherspoon loves Overboard.  I loved Emma Stone and Ben Stiller presenting.  And I also loved:

  • Morgan Freeman
  • “Ordinary people arrived, and extraordinary people left make-up.” – Jason Issacs
  • How the man seated next to Octavia was so amazingly gallant (I think it might have been Demian Bichir) — how he held her elbow and helped her from her chair all the way up the stairs.  I love Christian Bale, but this would have been the guy I would have referred to as the hottest.
  • “A dress should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to prove you’re a lady.”  Oscar’s choice of presenters was somewhat ironic, no?
  • Sandra Bullock
  • “That’s when movies were actually made on film.” – Billy Crystal.  Yep, kids.  We’re actually that old.
  • The Diet Coke commercial
  • Colin Firth
  • Howard Shore
  • Will Ferrell
  • “I’m eventually trying to one day tell the truth.” – Adam Sandler (on making movies)
  • Gary Oldman
  • How happy France must be.

I only had a few Oscar wishes of my own this year:

  • That Midnight in Paris would get creamed in every category.
  • That The Help would sweep every category.
  • That The Muppets would win Best Original Song.
  • That the Muppets would hatch a plot to do away with Billy Crystal so they could take over the show, and while they were at it, go ahead and change all the nominations to what they really should be…

Nominees for Best Picture: The Muppets, Harry Potter 8, Transformers 3, The Help, and Winnie the Pooh
Best Picture – Winnie the Pooh
Best Actor (lead or otherwise) – Alan Rickman
Best Actress – Viola Davis
(who would be attacked by Miss Piggy off stage)
Best Supporting Actor – Fozzie the Bear
Best Supporting Actress – Octavia Spencer
Best Adapted Screenplay – The Help
Best Original Screenplay – The Muppets
Best Costume Design – Lego Star Wars: The Padawan Menace
Best Art Direction – Sherlock Holmes 2
Best Editing – Captain America
Best Special Effects – Thor
Best Sound Mixing – Cars 2
Best Sound Editing – Transformers 3
Best Music – Pirates 3
Best Original Song – “So Long” by Zooey Deschanel
(Her date would have been Kermit.  And the song invited to perform would have been from Breaking Dawn Pt 1 — whose performance would have been landed on by Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem descending from the rafters.  Forget Cirque.)
Best Director – James Bobin
Best Short Film – The Swing
New Category: Best Trailer – Mission Impossible 4

That’s what should have happened.  Instead of a coup d’etat we got Melissa McCarthy’s ankles.  But I guess that’s why we’ve got the Golden Globes.  Right?

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