Baby steps

22 Jan

God is so good to me.

I cannot count the ways…but I can tell you how good He has been this week to remind me what He has put in me that makes me want to do what I do.

First, in my continued surrender to Him about my career path, He reminded me of an old idea.  I won’t call it a dream because that would mean that in some way I would have ever hoped it to be possible.  It was just a fun idea that I kicked around with some pals.  But this is about the third time it’s come up.  And instead of my usual panic-freak-out-there’s-no-way-I-could-ever-do-that mode, I feel cool as a cucumber.  I don’t know how to express how free that makes me feel.  I’m never that calm about things like this.  And I have no intention of taking this idea for granted, either.  I have decided that I am going to continue to not panic about it, but rather continue to rest in His ability to open doors and make things happen as He sees fit.  But now He has given me this spark…that it is time for me to meet Him in what He is doing on this road.  I’m ready to trust.  Recently when I told a friend how terrified taking steps in this direction was for me, she said, “Why don’t we start looking for ways you can take baby steps toward it rather than the big scary ones?”  Did I mention she’s a genius?  Baby steps.

Then, a friend contacts me and asks if I would like to be a part of her new project.  If you’ve been reading the blog, you know which one I mean.  Being in front of the camera is also waaaay outside of my comfort zone.  But the answer is, of course, yes, dear friend, I will go with you.  And so I realize on my way to her house that He has graciously intervened again.  Another baby step.

And on Sunday, I went to sit down for lunch at work when a co-worker arrived early for her shift so she could have lunch in the back at the same time.  A divine appointment.  I asked her to tell me about the message at her church that morning, and the next thing I know, I’m telling her all about how God spoke to my hurting heart in a dark theater in 2001 and how those moments with Him led me into a new direction in life.  Maybe she didn’t need to hear all that…but I know for a fact I did.  I stood up the same girl but refreshed in the spirit of purpose and hope that somehow I’d set aside in the enormity of my dreaming.  Another baby step.

So today I am just grateful.  My heart is full of His promise, where those few years ago it was more full of leaning on my own ability (or lack thereof).  Maybe the unusually mild winter — the one I’ve been praying for for months — has helped me to find an unseasonal rest.  Maybe it’s just time for me to remember that great things are possible, that ALL things are possible because of the One who died for me.

So…now that I have renewed direction, I need continued prayer for doors to open and that I will continue to do the planning on my part to make it happen.  We’ll see what happens.  One baby step at a time.

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