Dear Bella

19 Sep

Dear Bella,

I admit it was with great relief that I received your letter of 9/12. My feelings for you have changed since I realized that in becoming a vampire, you would be exchanging your vegetarian beliefs for stalking, attacking, and sucking the blood out of animals with your own mouth. I just don’t know if I can spend eternity with someone who so easily casts aside their convictions. Perhaps ‘The Vampire Diaries’ would work out better for you, since they use plastic bottles. Best wishes to you as well. I hear there are great colleges in Florida.


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